Man, God has been having a field day with me lately!
I have been trying to master the art of seeking God's guidance in everything and trusting in Him. Over the past few days, I have forgotten what it is to have a health-centered attitude about my body and food than it is to have an appearance-centered one. I know that God wants me to honor my body because it is His temple, not because I will look a certain way. God reminded me today that I need to trust Him with my weight and with guiding me with what and how much I eat rather than trying to control it on my own. But at the same time, I know there has to be balance: I still must care about what I eat and how much I weigh, but from a health standpoint. And I must plan my meals and have structure, but not be legalistic. It's all about balance. It's about having grace with myself, to be able to let myself "splurge" every now and then. But only in quality of the food, not in quantity. I forget that gluttony is a sin, so I want to remember that overeating in any way is the exact opposite of glorifying God. I want to be more mindful of how I am treating my body because I want to do what is right. I need my motivation to be right.
Even past the issue of eating healthy and maintaining a healthy weight, I am working on balancing my life in general: balancing relaxing time with time to work, balancing how much time I spend with the people in my life, etc. I am learning how to do enough but not too much. I want to work on being able to be a student, a Christian, a leader, a daughter, a girlfriend, and eventually a counselor, but to be able to do them without stretching myself too thin, and under God's guidance. I want to work on glorifying God with everything I do: in my running, eating, studying, reading, how I spend my time and my money, with what I watch and listen to, and who I associate with. I want to be completely guided by Him rather than me trying to take control of everything. You would think I would have learned by now that when I try to control things, they don't work out! Because God is the creator of everything in my life, so of course only He knows best! The battle between the flesh and the Spirit is so evident when it comes to control; it's second-nature to control my life, and yet each day I am gradually learning to let God take control, because I want what He wants for me! Jesus knows best, and it's about time that I let Him take the wheel and take me where He wants me to go, to take care of my body the way He wants me to, to interact with people that He places in my life rather than who I want there, to pursue the profession that He has called me to rather than the one that I think will earn me the most money or security.
I am refocused. God has pressed the "reset" button in my mind. I have remembered that I am to worship God in everything I do, including my thoughts and motives behind my actions. My prayer today is for God's guidance and grace, and for protection against temptation, the temptation to not take care of my body, to become obsessive over anything but Him, to take the control over my life out of His hands, and to follow my own knowledge and reasoning rather than having faith like a child in the God who knows all and has my best interest at heart.
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